It might start with a voice; the way they sing the words, the way they tell you what you want to hear. It might start with a face; you open up the latest issue of your favorite music magazine, flip through the pages and BOOM! you see the most gorgeous artist posing with their bandmates. Next thing you know, you have memorized the lyrics to all of their songs, have watched all their music videos, and can list the things that they do on a day-to-day basis. A picture of this artist’s life and what they have to offer has been painted for you, and you feel as if you are connected to them in a personal way.
There are people out there who say that you cannot have a relationship with someone whom you have not met in person — especially a seemingly unattainable musician. How can you feel close to someone you have only seen from afar or read about online? These critics might have a point, but this does not mean that real feelings cannot develop at a distance. But, when this does happen, it can be classified as a psychological relationship called a “parasocial relationship.”
Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships that form through constant exposure to a stranger or someone that you do not know personally. Typically, it describes a relationship between a fan and a public figure, such as a model, actress or a famous musician, but it can also happen in day to day life through mutual connections. It sounds a little ridiculous, but to the person in question, it is very legit and natural.
In today’s technology age and social media being as omnipresent as it is, parasocial relationships can form very quickly. This constant sharing of information – wherever, whatever or however much they want — feeds the parasocial relationship, prompting a fan to feel closer to this musician or artist. Soon enough, a fan can know what this musician has for breakfast, who their friends are, what they do for fun, what makes them sad — all as if this artist is speaking directly to this fan.
Of course, a big factor in parasocial relationships with artists involves the songs — mostly the lyrics. An artist can be expressive with their lyrics, as if they are writing straight from both of your hearts, they could mention a city where they grew up or how they felt during a breakup, and the more specific they are with their words, the more the listener can relate.
On top of the lyrics, there is a connection with the music itself. When you listen to music, you experience different sensations throughout your body –- your blood pressure lowers, your heart rate slows down and endorphins are released.
However, parasocial relationships can also have a dark side. Fans may start ignoring reality and develop unhealthy attachments, believing they know the artists on a personal level — even though the relationship is entirely one-sided. This can lead to obsessive behavior, such as monitoring the artist’s social media constantly and feeling entitled to their own personal information. In extreme cases, this can escalate into stalking or harassment, as fans feel “wronged” when their perceived bond isn’t reciprocated.
Consider instances where artists such as Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpenter, or even Chappell Roan have had to deal with fans crossing boundaries — whether it’s stalking, threatening behavior, or even overstepping privacy. Taylor Swift, for example, has experienced numerous cases where fans tracked her down in real life due to their deep, often unhealthy parasocial connection. Similarly, Chappell Roan has spoken about the invasive attention she received after gaining her quick popularity, stating, “please do not assume you know a lot about someone’s life, personality and boundaries because you are familiar with them or their work online.”
These rare, yet seemingly more common cases (due to social media) illustrate the potential dangers of parasocial relationships as a whole, where fans forget that artists still have personal boundaries that should be respected- no matter how open to their fans they may seem.
There is nothing wrong with letting a parasocial relationship blossom, just as long as it does not become harmful for all involved. Maintaining awareness of the boundaries between admiration of an artist and obsession is key to keeping these relationships healthy.
If you want to read more from our November issue, read the full issue online.
Or you can purchase a physical copy while supplies last.
