Ten Places Bastille’s New Album Could Be Hiding

by Cole Winkler

Bastille has dropped countless hints about dropping an album later this year. The release of the single “Hanging” and an email sent about a month ago have all confirmed this rumor. However, it has been a month and still NOTHING. No dates, no extra information nothing, seriously guys we are dying here, please give us something. At least a date I mean is that to much to ask? Well as you wait I have made a list of all the possible people and places that Bastille could be hiding their album.

10 Malaysian flight 370
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

I do not know exactly how Bastille would hide their album on the plane. All I am saying is when we find the plane the album will totally be there.

9 It doesn’t exist

Maybe Bastille is playing the worlds cruelest and longest April fools day joke on us. April first is going to come around and Bastille will tweet, “SIKEEE fooled y’all no new album.”

8 Trump
(Image courtesy of Youtube)

Everyone has been wondering what is powering Donald in the election. The only plausible solution is that Donald is using Bastilles album to generate mass appeal.

7 Richard Branson has it
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons)

Bastille is signed by Virgin Records which is owned by the eccentric billionaire Richard Branson. Who is to say Branson isn’t jamming to Bastilles new album on his private island?

6 Those creepy guys from the Pompeii video have it.
Screen Shot 2016-03-16 at 7.48.07 PM
(Image courtesy of the Pompeii music video on youtube)

Ever watched the Pompeii music video? Well if you haven’t you should but there’s these creepy dudes with jet black eyes chasing Bastille Dan around. Maybe they stole it.

5 Tidal
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

Maybe Bastille put it on Tidal and we just never released. I mean no one goes there except maybe Kayne.

4 Bastille(The prison)
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

You know like Bastille the prison that incited the French revolution? I bet Bastille hid it in the Bastille waiting for someone to find it. Just think of the irony.

3 Dan Smiths hair
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

You ever seen Bastilles lead vocalist, Dan Smiths, hair? Well it has an absurdly large bump in the front. Maybe the band is hiding it in there. I mean just look how wonderful that hair is, always so perfect.

2 The queen has it.
(Image courtesy of Wikipedia)

Bastilles British, the queen’s British maybe they are hiding with her.  I can see the queen rocking out to Pompeii 2.0 during tea.

1 Illuminati

(Images courtesy of Wikipedia)

Here is the Bastille logo side by side with the Illuminati logo. It just screams Illuminati confirmed. Undoubtedly, Bastille is part of the Illuminati and they are holding the new album as part of a world domination scheme.

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